I know this is being posted very late and most people won't read this until tomorrow but after two weeks of no inspiration I just had to write. Now.
These last two weeks have been a roller coaster of emotion for me. One day I am so happy to be alive, and find beauty in everything, and the next I can barely get myself out of bed. So I have just really struggling with why that is.
As I began to dissect my life, the saying "you are the company you keep" kept coming to mind. It didn't really make much sense to me because for the most part my friends are pretty nice to me. But I just kept hearing the saying, over and over again.
Yesterday, I started realizing that I don't want friends that are just nice to me. I want friends who inspire me. Who push me everyday to become a better me. I want friends who are constantly seeking God in their everyday lives. Who exude kindness and love, not just to me, but to everyone.
This is not to say dump the friends I have and find new ones. But simply to find more friends who portray these traits so that I may be able to model them and hopefully start to inspire my "old" friends to do the same.
Today, during my bible study, I decided to sit back and just take it all in. Instead of wishing the time to go by faster, I really lived within the moment. I then began to see the plans that are about to unfold in my life. For so long I have been praying for God to reveal His plan- or at least a part of it- to me because I just felt so lost and purposeless. All of the sudden it just became so clear to me that this semester is about to be the best one yet.
After the bible study, instead of vanishing as quick as possible like I usually do, I challenged myself to stay after and talk with one of the girls who I really felt that I had an immediate connection with. Staying after to chat turned into an hour, which quickly turned into an all day event. Before I knew it, it was 8 o'clock and we were on our way to dinner. During the car ride to the restaurant I started to wonder how this could have happened. I usually am very cautious when I begin new relationships or friendships, but for some reason this friendship just really felt natural. I felt really happy and comfortable talking to her and for the first time in a long time I just knew I had found a friend who would help me become a better me.
I truly am so over-joyed right now with all that God is doing for me. I just feel so incredibly blessed to have found Phi Lamb* and all the girls in it. I cannot wait to see what this semester has in store for me.
My heart is overflowing with happiness and love. And that is how is should be.
*For those of you that don't know that is a christian sorority that I just recently joined